I got yer cold right here.

So, it's cold.

Not the "Make sure you wear a sweater" cold or "Make sure you bring the plants in" cold.

Nah.

It's more the kind of cold that makes you believe in the possibility of genderless humans.

"Male? Female? Who knows, I can't find my balls" cold.


Without further ado a new list of:

"It was so cold that...."

1. The indigenous peoples of the Artic renamed Maryland " North Pole, South"
2. I no longer had to use a hammer to drive nails. My frozen fucking hand sufficed.
3. I swear that I saw a flock of penguins fly overhead around noon. (So what if I was under the power of extremely psychotropic drugs at the time. Isn't everyone?)
4. Siberia called, it wants it weather back.
5. I made icicles when I urinated. It's not as fun as it sounds.
6. The tourism people from Antarctica got all angsty because they thought that people might flock to Maryland instead of their freezer box of a ice tray country.
7. I wrote retarded one liners in a blog and blamed it on "brain freeze."

Hey tomorrow is supposed to be colder! Suh-weet.